Friday, November 04, 2005

With the Barkers and the Colored Balloons

So I was tucking MG in, after singing her the requisite Corny Leftist Lullabye favored this week: Malvina Reynolds's "Turn Around", which has replaced the previous favorite, "The Circle Game." They're both incredibly self-indulgent and sentimental, but I like them, and MG likes them.

But you know, I'm thinking maybe they're not such a good idea.

Tonight after "Turn Around" she fell apart, sobbing, crying, clinging to me. "I miss being in the Dragonflies! I miss Mikey and Karen! I miss my friends! I hate kindergarten, kindergarten's stupid, I feel like I'm a Billy Goat again! I'm in the youngest group again! It makes me feel like a baby! And it will take years and years and years to get to be like a Dragonfly again! I miss the group names, like Billy Goats, Sparkling Butterflies, Leaping Ladybugs, Dragonflies! School has stupid names, like First grade, Second grade, Third grade, Fourth grade! Those are dumb names!

"And I miss the play structure, it didn't have too many kids on it! [does the SYS play structure have too many kids, so you can't play on it?] Yes! And it's too big! I wish I could go back to preschool, but go on the bus! [but the bus doesn't go to preschool...] Then I don't care about the bus! I just want to be back there! I don't want to be in big kid school! I wish I could turn around, turn around, and be back in the Dragonflies! [How long have you been feeling like this?] For a long time, but I just kept it inside! I didn't want to say! But now I can't keep it inside any more!"

All this poured out amid sobs, with lots of repetition and interspersed questions from me. As usual I was torn between wanting to validate her feelings and not wanting to feed all that melodrama. Because the girl, she is a drama queen. In case you didn't notice.

And while I'm sure all the above is true, and she's been keeping it in, it's not the only truth. I asked her at one point if she wanted me to remind her of some of the things school has that preschool doesn't, and she said no. When she started rhapsodizing about how much her old teacher Mikey liked her, I made the mistake of venturing that Mrs. LeBec likes her too, but she choked out that she didn't care about that, and it was obviously beside the point.

So I shut up and rubbed her back, and eventually she brightened up and said, "Hey, I'm out of tissues! Would you get me a tissue, please?"

At least I didn't break it to her that I still feel like that about not being in college any more.

Hmm. Perhaps this isn't the time to break "Sugar Mountain" into the lullabye rotation.


Blogger Anna said...

If I were MG's mother we could sob together about her passing baby days. "You were such a beautiful baby!" "I know, I was such a beautiful baby!" "I wish you were still breastfeeding!" "I wish I was too!" etc. Sigh.

(Drama queen: tee hee! Indeed.)

6:19 PM  

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