Saturday, September 04, 2004

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Do you ever get the feeling you are raising your kid in an alternate reality?

Reading Mir's post about singing "Hey Teetee" to the tune of "Hey Mickey" while she waved her son's blanket around [can't explain, go read it, come to think of it go read everything she writes [then give her a job, but not one with so much overtime she stops blogging; I don't think I could stand that]] got me thinking about how we do that all the time with Sarah. She's gotten so she can pick it up, and will demand "How does that really go?" whenever we adapt a song to fit something that's going on, even if she's never heard the original.

I'm starting to wonder if she will be forever twisted by this. She'll be hanging out with her new college friends, watching, say, a rerun of "Secret Agent" in college on whatever futuristic version of DVD exists in 2019: when she hears the theme song she'll immediately be transported in Proustian manner back to her infancy and without even having time to think about it she'll be singing along to the theme song, only with the words of that old favorite, "Diaper Action Girl," which starts out "There's a girl who lives a life of danger/every half an hour we have to change her," and goes downhill from there. And poof! So much for any semblance of a social life for our girl.

Not all of them are so, um, scatalogical. I'm particularly fond of The Carpool Lane Song:

We, are the carpool, my friends
Weeee'll, keep on driiiiving, to the end
Weee are the caaaaarpoool, weeee are the caaaaarpoool,
No time for traaaffic, for we are the caaarpool,
Of the worrrrrrrrrld.

Not exactly Gilbert & Sullivan, but very satisfying to bellow as you pass all the poor sods in the single-occupancy lanes.

(This free and easy attitude towards songs is a family tradition: when my brother and I were kids, my dad composed a barely-tuneful, barely-rhyming anthem entitled "Hail to Thee, Hunter College School of Social Work" which we chorused on cue every time we passed his alma mater.)

I know we're not alone in this. What songs are you warping your kids' minds with?


Blogger Anna said...

I love the Diaper Action Girl! HAHA!!

I tend to sing my guy little nonsense songs that I make up (although I do change lyrics to 'regular' songs also.) He also likes 'Old MacDonald' but with _real_ animal noises, meaning "moouuurrroooooooo" and not "moo." Also with more exotic animals, lizards (phthththththththt) and lions (rooOOOAAAAwwwerrrrrr) being quite popular. My husband says TLM is going to scare the other toddlers when he can sing it himself.

9:37 AM  
Blogger elswhere said...

The other toddlers will just have to get used to the idea that Old McDonald has a really diverse zoo. It's good for 'em!

We used to like to sing Wheels on the Bus with all kinds of animal noises, too ("The kitties on the bus go meow, meow, meow," etc.). I haven't tried the Boo on it lately-- she acts so old these days I forget she still might like it. But I bet she would.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Mir said...

"Hey Teetee" is just a small sampling of the twisted things I sing to my children. Really, what life event doesn't lend itself to song? ;)

(And thanks for the job plug!)

7:14 PM  
Blogger elswhere said...

Hee! Hi, Mir, thanks for stopping by! And if I hear of anyone who's looking for a vice-president of finance, I'll be sure to let you know ;-)

4:55 PM  

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