Happy Days Are Here Again
It’s all because RW has been holed up in the attic all weekend working on the Taxes. Poor woman. She’s always done her own taxes: mortgage, freelance work, multiple self-owned businesses and all. Before Mermaid Girl was born, I did my own too, but they were easy because I have no assets and a boring conventional income-generating setup. Now my valiant spouse does both our taxes, so she can run them through multiple scenarios and figure out how much we save depending on who claims the Girl. (It’s an interesting setup, since we live together and are both MG’s parents but can’t file as a couple, at least in this country. It’s like filing as divorced parents who happen to live in the same house.)
Tonight I was tucking MG in after a harrowing day full of meltdowns and screaming fits (and MG wasn’t doing so great, either). She was muttering about how she wanted Mama, she missed Mama, where was Mama anyway?
Me: “Doing the taxes.”
Her: “Stupid taxes. I wish I could take all the taxes and rip them up and throw them in the garbage.”
Me: Bla bla about how taxes do good things, like paying for schools and police officers and roads and food for kids who don’t have any money and also doctor visits for people who don’t have money and etc. Even though sometimes the President and the people who make the laws decide to spend our taxes on things I don’t like, they’re still basically a good thing. Because, you know, we’re good public-good liberals around here, and I want to raise my tax-hating baby right.
Her: “What kind of things you don’t like? Like wars?”
Me: “Yeah. They have to pay the soldiers, and pay for the weapons.”
Her: “We’re not paying for any wars. Stupid George Bush. He’s just a baby.”
Me: “Well, we can think of our taxes as going for the other stuff.” [Because I am just not getting into the tax-resister scenario with her this year.]
Her: “I wish I was President.”
Me: “What would you do if you were President?”
Her: “I would say, no more taxes! I would throw them all in the trash.”
Me: “But what about the roads? And the people who need to go to the doctor?”
Her: “I would pay for it myself.”
Me: “How would you get the money?”
Her [vaguely]: “By doing good things.” [suddenly struck by inspiration:] “I would build the roads! I would pay the people who don’t have any money to build the roads and buildings and things!”
Me: “And then they would have enough money to go to the doctor, and for food?”
That’s my girl. Still not clear where she’ll get the cash to finance it all. But that’s always the tricky part, isn’t it?