Renaissance Woman's Diet Alternatives
The East Beach Diet: No sugar except ice cream; drink a glass of water every time you have a negative body image thought.
The North Beach Diet: No carbs unless they taste good.
The Northwest Beach Diet: Eat whatever you want; drink V-8 instead of orange juice; feel virtuous*.
The West Beach Diet: Aah, screw it**.
*This one is actually my contribution
**And this one, amazingly, must be credited to RW's mom, who in the past has been a zealous proponent of many diet fads, including this notorious hoax.
posted by elswhere | 9:50 PM
3 Comments:
Jersey Beach Diet. Every time you have an urge to eat something fattening, toss that item out -- it has to be somewhere disgusting like the compost pit, so you don't retrieve it. Also known as the Frog and Toad Cookie Solution.
Kate again (yeah, it's non-directional, but have you been to a Jersey Beach?)
Oh boy, have I been to Jersey beaches. Nope, you wouldn't want to eat anything once you'd dropped it there.
Actually, that sounds like it could be a *real* diet. You could write a book about it! No, wait, you already wrote a book or two. (on which, by the way, much congratulations and many happy returns ;-)
No, wait, not returns! That's not what I meant! I've worked in bookstores and I know returns are bad, bad, bad. I meant sales! Many happy sales! And happy readers! And reviewers! And publishers who will buy more and more of your books! That's what I meant.
Whew.
Going to go spit now for good luck to neutralize that for you.
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