A Valid Philosophy. Just Not Mine.
I've been breaking the news to the kids at school when I see each group for the last class session. I tell them how much I've loved being their librarian, and that I'm moving to Vancouver because I think it's a better place for me and my family, but that it was a really hard decision to make because I love this school so much and love working there.
One kid yesterday said plaintively, "But if you love it here so much, why are you leaving?" I felt like a heel.
The same kid collared me later and asked me more about the move: "But what if you go to Canada, and then it turns out to be a big mistake?!?" she demanded.
I said I guessed that was possible, and I worry about it sometimes, but then I think, well, what if I stay at this job and never leave because I'm scared it might not be as good somewhere else, and then in thirty or forty years or so, when I'm dying, I think: "I wonder what would have happened if I'd gone to Vancouver? I was too scared to do it, and now I'll never know."
She glowered at me. "Better to be SAFE," she muttered.
One kid yesterday said plaintively, "But if you love it here so much, why are you leaving?" I felt like a heel.
The same kid collared me later and asked me more about the move: "But what if you go to Canada, and then it turns out to be a big mistake?!?" she demanded.
I said I guessed that was possible, and I worry about it sometimes, but then I think, well, what if I stay at this job and never leave because I'm scared it might not be as good somewhere else, and then in thirty or forty years or so, when I'm dying, I think: "I wonder what would have happened if I'd gone to Vancouver? I was too scared to do it, and now I'll never know."
She glowered at me. "Better to be SAFE," she muttered.
posted by elswhere | 11:53 PM
4 Comments:
Laughing. I must have relatives attending your school. "Change? No change. Better to be SAFE!"
I cannot tell you how much I need to be reading your posts about this move: it is entirely possible that we will shortly have the opportunity to move to a state where we would have legal recognition of our relationship, and the conversations/emotions around change/fear/family goodness/job unpredictability are fast and furious! The pressure to feel SAFE is powerful, and it is making me really confused about how to do what people keep saying, which is trust our gut. Part of my gut is channelling your student (or Phantom's family).
Out of the mouths of babes, huh?
Ah, so now I'm learning that you're leaving Israel and will be relocating to Vancouver. Never been there, but heard it was lovely. So I'm looking forward to following your move.
OPPS!!! (grin) Yes, call me confused.
I just recently discovered your mom's blog (via Claude in Paris) and silly me, I thought I was coming to another of her blog entries. Duh! I needed to look up and read the title, so now I know. But your blog looks very interesting also and I wish you all the best on your move.
Just sign me....>Confused
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