Sunday, March 07, 2010

Random bullets of various ambivalences

*Well, here we all are in the post-Olympic hangover, everyone wandering around saying to each other, "Well that was some party, huh. So, how d'you think it's gonna get paid for? Hmm. Huh. Well, some party, eh?"

*It was kind of wild to see how the local mood swung from wary cynicism to totally over-the-top "Go Canada!" madness. I was at our earthy-crunchy-lefty synagogue's rabbi's house for a hamentaschen-making party last Sunday when the Big Hockey Game was on. We all ended up in front of the TV--Vancouver natives, US expatriates, diehard Olympic protesters and the ambivalent middle (me) alike, cheering like crazy and jumping up and down at that last-minute overtime victory.

*It made me think-- this is how communities are formed, what makes community: shared experiences like this. These people will always be the people I witnessed this moment with, and that counts for something.

*Funny, too, how the hunger for Olympic swag came over me suddenly just in the last days of the games. I resisted for a while and then bought a few kids' things from the picked-over racks at the department store near work. I am kind of embarrassed about it

*A few nights ago there was a young teen in the library at closing time, who asked to use the phone. From the conversation he was having, it appeared that his parents had kicked him out and he was looking for a place to stay the night. I passed him the name & number of the local youth shelter, thought about encouraging him to stay and call him right then, but by the time I'd thought it through he was gone.

*I was kind of shaken and posted about it elsewhere, saying I was trying to wrap my head around what would lead parents to do that. Someone wrote me privately about a similar situation they knew of in their family, and told me not to judge too quickly. The thing is, I *had* been trying not to judge-- I'd just written what I was thinking, and had also written that I knew there was no way I could know the full story or even whether the kid had been totally telling the truth on the phone.

*But I figure there's no point in being defensive to my friend. Even though I feel defensive.

*I ended up just writing back a brief note saying I was sorry that had happened. I know that wasn't adequate, but am not sure what would be.

*A Facebook friend posted that Mary Oliver quote about What Will You Do With Your One Wild and Precious Life, and I just thought...crap, I don't know. What *will* I do with my one wild and precious life? Pull holds on beautiful Saturday afternoons at work? Fold laundry? Check Facebook? Remind the Mermaid Girl to brush her teeth? I love that quote, theoretically, but in real life every time I read it it makes me feel itchy all over and a little bit like screaming.

*The Mermaid Girl and I are going away this week, to see my baby nephew and his parents in the wilds of New England.

*It will be Mud Season, but also Sugaring Season. I guess they go together.

*I think that's where I am right now internally, too: Mud Season. Maybe it will be sugaring season, too.

*I wonder what I'm tapping, and what it will turn into.